What is a Slave Vs a Submissive? by ~ irish ~ DH

Slave or submissive? One question I hear often, and it is rarely brought up without stirring up controversy is, "What is the difference between a submissive and a slave?" First off, let me say that most everyone has their own definition of this and each person is entitled to his or her own view, which should be respected by others. That said, I will attempt to explain my definition and what the differences are to me. The techinical definition of a slave taken from a dictionary is one who is property bound to a person or a household. The technical definition of a submissive is one inclined or willing to submit. These are both fairly accurate to me. I believe the difference rests in the options of choice. A slave has prenegotiated all rights and enters into a relationship fully trusting that her Master will make all decisions with her best interest in mind and act accordingly. She no longer has the right to object, but knowing she has made her choice patiently and wisely, there is no need to. Meanwhile, a submissive gives up control in a different way, holding onto the ability to say no and renegotiate situations. Neither of these are wrong or better than the other, yet to me the slave enters into this more deeply and holds more trust in her Master to make choices for her that will nurture her and make her a better person for both herself and for him. A submissive, of course will gain growth and benefit from proper guidance as well, but does so in a manner that she feels is more safe and doesn't require total control. Being a slave also requires a 24/7 fulltime commitment or TPE (Total Power Exchange), generally living with thier Master to best serve his needs. A submissive can live separately from their Dominant while still serving at times determined at thier convenience. A submissive has choices and thier own livelihood is not entirely wrapped up in the needs of their Dominant. Both positions require commitment and the strength to sacrifice. Both require a caring, trustworthy person to provide guidance. A slave requires regularly demostrated love and utter leadership. A submissive may not need this deep of commitment. These are the differences to me, and while I admire both for what they give, it is my slave that brings me complete happiness. Whatever choices or definitions you make for yourself and your partner, they are yours and you should be true to them. Going over your head will most likely hurt both yourself and your partner eventually.Keep in mind that people will not always agree and you will find that in time, and with experience, you will redefine many things within yourself and your relationship as you grow. Respect others decisions, definitions and choices and expect them to respect your own. Different choices create joy for different people. Power and Control There are different types and levels of power and control in a relationship. To fully experience a longterm positive experience with a submissive or slave it is important to know and understand the basic differences and what they provide. Physical control is often the first thought that comes to mind to many Dominants. Not necessarily the power to physically overpower someone, but the actual physical contact that occurs. The feel of standing over someone who is kneeling and yielding themselves to you. While this is the most obvious and visible level, it is also the simplest and least important. Mental control is the ability to get inside your partner's head and control or manipulate the path of thoughts to achieve their arousal, acts or any other goal. This is much like the exhilaration of fear experienced while riding a roller coaster: though you are buckled securely, and subconciously feel safe, there is a fear racing through your mind at the same time. This is often the true thrill of the ride. Achieving this level with your partner takes more thought and skill and if handled improperly can be dangerous. If handled properly, you can establish an environment to benefit you both in a multitude of ways. Beyond the physical and mental, there is emotional control. The ability to take one's heart and gain the faith and trust that your partner is the only and most important person in the world. A slave who loves her Master will give all her efforts to please him and to express that love. This is the control that you cannot force from someone, and it is genuine and fragile. Without the ability to communicate and share your inner thoughts without fear and to know you are safe, any relationship is going to be difficult to impossible. A relationship between a Master and slave cannot flourish and grow without this level. Without growth you are cheating both yourself and your partner of the richest reward you can experience in this lifestyle. Love isn't easy of course. It is something you have to work at daily. If you care for it and sacrifice for it, you and your partner can reach the ultimate of your abilites and desires together. There is nothing more important...EVER! Strive for this and you will succeed in finding the best in yourself and your partner. Home Page Visit the BDSM Toy Box for all kinds of fetish and vanilla adult toys, books and apparel. Great selection including Blindfolds, whips, floggers and paddles; ropes, straps and Bondage starter kits; videos, vibes, lingerie, and collars. You can even make a wish list for your lover. Great Prices, assured privacy and guaranteed discretion. Click here